As human beings we all have a strong desire to belong and be liked by others. This need to have people like you and caring what they think can go massively wrong when it leads to us not following our souls call and instead following a set regiment of expectation and achievement.
People pleasing is a habit we all, at one time or another fall guilty of. However, it can have a deeper impact on everything in your life if you are not being true to yourself. For example, have you noticed if your opinions and/or behaviour might change around certain people? It’s like a necessity to “fit in” and be accepted overrules your soul’s calling.
Social standards and behaviours have been programmed into us all from birth. If we fail to conform at a young age, we can be berated for not towing the line or bullied by our peers for not fitting in… This continues in more subtle forms into adulthood, so much so that one day we may wake up and realise we are just not happy, we are not in the right job, the right relationship, surrounded by the right people or just simply not indulging in hobbies that allow us to express ourselves.
We grow up doing this in many ways to avoid conflict and social rejection. So, we compromise, we fit in, but we are betraying our inner selves by doing this. It builds up inside us, bubbling away, until one day we are forced to confront this and action a change to a more fulfilling way of being or accept it and stay as we are. Ultimately, we are responsible.
Many people suffer from anxiety, depression and other mental illnesses because they are living a life in which they take little or no pleasure despite how it may look from the outside.
One of the most liberating things I have ever undergone in my life was to shed this skin of expectation and conformity and instead find my way out there, to myself, to my dreams and to the life I dream of living.
I went through a phase where a long-term relationship ended, I was made redundant and I lost my home all within a very short period. I admit I almost buckled, but instead I had the blessing of a guardian angel, one of my cousins had a little talk with me and she asked me quite simply “What do you want”? The worst thing, I had no idea how to respond, I don’t think I had ever been asked this. Instead I was living my life based on expectation, I had a really good job, a fiancé, a stable home etc.. So, when the walls came tumbling down on me, I realised I wasn’t all that fulfilled and had tried many times to break free, but instead had gone along with everything as it is what one does.
Today, I couldn’t be more grateful, as that was the beginning of me becoming me! I am still growing but I believe we all are, always. But it’s on my terms and I barely ever do anything because I “should”, I do what I do because I choose too. The life I am living now is my choice, and the future I am creating, I am consciously calling to me, each and every day.
Want to break away from the drones and find your way back to you?
Why not drop me a line today and see how I can assist you with finding your magic?